Sometimes I think I can understand the psychology of Bruckner when he was getting old, and his apparent neurotic behaviour towards women.
I have seen not too few men who have the courage to tell me their stories and air their grievances. I say “not few”, but I believe there must be far more men who don’t have the courage or the mood to tell others their plight out there in society. The reverse can also be true – the so called selection bias in research.
Their stories are very similar, and they go on like this. When a man gets old or just gets older, when his job is not secure, and has little money in reserve, he may lose his confidence. He will think he is no longer young now, and with all the family burdens piling up on him, he feels he is doomed to a life of loneliness and despondence, because his wife is leaving him, albeit not physically, at least psychologically. The cruel fact is, I was told, even those who have said they love him are just paying lip service, and will mock him and desert him, and that includes his very wife. The help that we can offer is some supportive counselling or psychotherapy, but some will even need drug treatment for the resulting depression. Is that part of the symptomatology of andropause (male menopause)? We are still uncertain of the answer. But what we can perceive and be sure is that these men will feel the pain, deep inside.
I hate to mention it, but men are at times, if not most of the time, very naïve. I’ve seen many cases of men who have devoted all their time, energy and money to the family, and in return their efforts come to a naught. (Of course the reverse can happen to many a woman.) This is the stark realities of life. It is sort of similar to Bruckner’s great effort in composing symphonies, and in the end he was only left with the torso of an unfinished symphony, albeit his greatest one, at the time of his death. Listen to the Adagio of Bernstein’s 1990 VPO Bruckner Ninth and experience how the strings mourn and weep and you will encounter the moment when the heart is touched and hurt.
I have seen not too few men who have the courage to tell me their stories and air their grievances. I say “not few”, but I believe there must be far more men who don’t have the courage or the mood to tell others their plight out there in society. The reverse can also be true – the so called selection bias in research.
Their stories are very similar, and they go on like this. When a man gets old or just gets older, when his job is not secure, and has little money in reserve, he may lose his confidence. He will think he is no longer young now, and with all the family burdens piling up on him, he feels he is doomed to a life of loneliness and despondence, because his wife is leaving him, albeit not physically, at least psychologically. The cruel fact is, I was told, even those who have said they love him are just paying lip service, and will mock him and desert him, and that includes his very wife. The help that we can offer is some supportive counselling or psychotherapy, but some will even need drug treatment for the resulting depression. Is that part of the symptomatology of andropause (male menopause)? We are still uncertain of the answer. But what we can perceive and be sure is that these men will feel the pain, deep inside.
I hate to mention it, but men are at times, if not most of the time, very naïve. I’ve seen many cases of men who have devoted all their time, energy and money to the family, and in return their efforts come to a naught. (Of course the reverse can happen to many a woman.) This is the stark realities of life. It is sort of similar to Bruckner’s great effort in composing symphonies, and in the end he was only left with the torso of an unfinished symphony, albeit his greatest one, at the time of his death. Listen to the Adagio of Bernstein’s 1990 VPO Bruckner Ninth and experience how the strings mourn and weep and you will encounter the moment when the heart is touched and hurt.
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